New Delhi Dec 21 PTI Indias premier off-spinner R Ashwin has revealed that he felt like he was being thrown under the bus after a remark by former head coach Ravi Shastri left him crushed during a torrid phase in his career when he contemplated retirement multiple times In an interview with ESPNcricinfo Ashwin was asked how he felt when then coach Shastri anointed Kuldeep Yadav as Indias No 1 spinner overseas after he had taken a five-for in the 2019 Sydney Test against Australia Ashwin said he was genuinely happy for Kuldeep as he knew how difficult it is to take five wickets as a spinner in Australia but Shastris remarks left him absolutely crushed I hold Ravi bhai in high esteem We all do And I understand we all can say things and then retract them In that moment though I felt crushed Absolutely crushed Ashwin said We all talk about how important it is to enjoy your team-mates success And I was happy for Kuldeep I have not been able to get a five-for but he has a five-for in Australia I know how big it is Even when I have bowled well at other times I havent ended up with a five-for So I am genuinely happy for him And its an extremely happy occasion to win in Australia But if I have to come and partake in his happiness and the success of the team I must feel like I belong there If I feel like I am being thrown under the bus how am I supposed to get up and come for a party to enjoy the teams or team-mates success Ashwin however still made it to the celebration party that was organised following the Indians teams historic series triumph Down Under I went back to my room and then I spoke to my wife And my children were there So we were able to you know shrug it off and I still made it to the party because end of the day we had won a massive series The 35-year-old said that recurring injuries meant that he was playing under excruciating pain when he took three wickets in each innings to lead India to victory in the first Test Shastris remark was quite too much for Ashwin after he played a role in the teams win in the series opener The first Test seemed like a distant memory by then I had taken three of the first four wickets in the first innings after we were bowled out cheaply and then when it got really flat in the final innings I plugged away for 50-plus overs and took three wickets despite what turned out to be a grade three abdomen tear In my mind I had done something great for the team in excruciating pain but all I heard was Nathan Lyon took six Ashwin took three As it is I was frustrated with my body for letting me down when I was in really good bowling form The last thing I needed was these comparisons and insinuations Between that reaction and Sydney it didnt feel like I had played any part at all Ashwin said Ashwin has been a great asset for India in both home and away conditions in the longer format of the game The spinner has so far taken 427 Test wickets making him the third-highest wicket-taker from the country after Anil Kumble and Kapil Dev in the red-ball format But there was a phase between 2018 to 2020 when he almost quit playing Between 2018 and 2020 I contemplated giving up the sport at various points I thought I have put in a lot of effort but it is not coming through The harder I tried the farther it felt Especially with athletic pubalgia and the patellar tendonitis - I used to bowl six balls and then I used to be gasping for breath And there would be pain all over the place So you needed to make adjustments When the knee pain got excruciating the next ball I would probably jump less When I jumped less obviously the force needs to be produced through the core and the back and the shoulders so the pubalgia a chronic groin lesion would act up So the third ball I would be extra side-on to try to use the hips By the time I was done with six balls I would be like I need a break here Ashwin recalled He also said that an injury breakdown in overseas assignments is often sneered at by the games observers an attitude that reflects the lack of empathy in cricketing community Only when it hits them personally do they have the empathy Empathy is being able to put yourself in others shoes and feel Hey what if it happens to me I feel as a cricketing community we lack that he lamented PTI AH PM PM