Imphal Apr 25 PTI Bullied and sometimes beaten as a child for not conforming to gender stereotypes the stairway to stardom has been steep and arduous for Bishesh Huirem Manipurs award-winning actor who says firmly that being a transgender is not a choiceHuirem who speaks eloquently of coming to terms with being trapped in a mans body was recently conferred the Best Actor trophy by the Manipur State Film Awards for her role in Bobby Wahengbams Apaiba Leichil Floating Clouds which portrays the struggles of third gender people in societyThe award for her debut film in which she plays a trans person brought with it national headlines and recognition outside her home state and also the hope that her success will smoothen the way for others like herBeing a transgender is not a choice Everything comes naturally to us We develop our outlook just like a girl even though trapped in a mans body Huirem told PTIPeople dont understand this and think they can change this natural gift through threats and beatings But it will not work And not accepting it could lead to depression and the inability to develop confidence the 33-year-old Imphal-based artiste addedThe aim she said is to use her profile and and position as an actor to promote a healthy and normal life for people of her communityThough the Manipur film industry has been employing third gender people as make-up artistes and choreographers Huirem has emerged as a rare transgender mainstream performerMy recognition will hopefully pave the way for others from my community to take up lead and prominent roles as often seen in the traditional theatre form Shumang Leela where transgenders play the lead female role I am optimistic my recognition will make others even in different fields judge us based on our talents and skills without any discrimination Huirem saidThe film role came after a series of beauty pageants and acting workshops She said she realised her love for the performing arts as a young child when she started participating in dance competitions during Durga PujaThe growing up years were difficultMy father and elder brother would sometimes beat me up in an effort to make me change my feminine ways They gave up on their ideas to change me as I entered my teens and especially after I began to win local and state level beauty pageants for transgenders she saidWhile the school days were not that hard Huirem had a tough time during her college days at the Bengalurus Garden City University when she was made to stay in the boys hostelThe warden would tell me about my feminine way of dressing and advise me to dress more conservatively for my own safety as I looked more like a woman As somebody who had always identified as a girl being trapped in a mans body was difficult Huirem however came to accept it as a natural gift that cant be taken away by threatsFrom my childhood I have always identified as a girl I felt more comfortable wearing girls outfits I was uncomfortable and insecure when going to the boys toilet in school She believes it is important for people to understand the trauma that trans-people often face and empathise with them so they get the confidence and space to thrive in whatever field they chooseApart from working in films and on stage Huirem is also attached with a transgender health and wellness centre as a lead community mobiliser She has recently completed her fourth semester in theatre at the Manipur University of CultureHuirem said she has been lucky on both professional and personal aspects of her life but many people from her community still face mockery harassment and discriminationThe reason the artiste said is the lack of biological and legal knowledge related to transgendersIf the government can organise periodic mass awareness campaigns on this topic I think people would understand more about us she added PTI CORR SHD MIN MIN